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Trishana Horton is a Case Manager on the PanCAN Patient Services team. She talks with people who call and email Patient Services about everything from the diagnosis and treatment of pancreatic cancer to risk factors, symptoms and more. Here, she dives into our next Taboo Topic: how to have conversations with loved ones around meal planning.
Loved ones often want to support patients and their caregivers by providing meals. It is their way of showing love. Think of those comfort foods or traditional family dishes that make the rounds when someone is in need. But diet and nutrition can be complicated for patients diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The nature of the disease brings so many digestive challenges — from nausea and diarrhea to food sensitivities and dietary preferences that can change over time. So how can caregivers gracefully navigate these situations? Here are some ways you can advocate for healthy meals while still encouraging support from your loved ones.
Caregivers: Be clear about dietary issues the patient faces. Loved ones will appreciate it.
As a PanCAN Patient Services Case Manager, I have spoken to caregivers who feel scared and frustrated that their loved ones are no longer eating their favorite foods or eating at all. Poor appetite, changes in taste and smell — even dental and oral side effects, like mouth sores — are all common nutritional challenges for pancreatic cancer patients. Add cancer-fighting treatment and the general stress of coping with the disease and an already delicate situation becomes increasingly complicated.
It may feel safer to keep the patient’s challenges a secret, but handling the stress of supporting a person with cancer alone can feel depressing and isolating. Keep your trusted loved ones in the loop. They want to help. Be honest about the challenges both you and the patient are facing.
And remember that you decide how much you want to share. Even broad statements, such as “Rich-dairy products can cause diarrhea in patients with pancreatic cancer,” can help guide loved ones who want to help without sharing too much. Allowing loved ones to support you will help them feel as though they are contributing to the well-being of the patient too.
Make specific requests (it’ll get easier with time!)
Asking people who want to support you for specific meals and food items may feel uncomfortable at first. You may feel guilty or worry that you are being unreasonable. However, it is always important to communicate the patient’s needs. By sharing food sensitivities and restrictions, you are giving loved ones the opportunity to support the patient in the safest (and tastiest) way possible.
Here are some suggestions to help guide requests:
- Ask for foods that you know the patient enjoys and explicitly list the foods that are no longer appealing to them.
- Request plastic, wooden, or compostable utensils to minimize the metallic taste.
- Ask that meals are seasoned with herbs and spices, instead of salt or sugar.
- Request foods that taste blander and simpler.
You can also ask for specific tools or methods to keep meal preparation and food deliveries organized. A meal train is an organized system of fresh meals (prepared or purchased) for a person in need. You can ask friends, family, coworkers, and other members of your community to participate. Meal Train® and Give InKind are some examples of free, online platforms that help create food delivery systems for those in need.
Self-advocacy should always be a priority, in the clinic and at home
Case Managers always stress the need to connect with physicians who build trust. We point patients and caregivers to resources to guide conversations — and we encourage second opinions if it feels too challenging to build a healthier relationship. A similar proactive approach can be used when communicating with loved ones.
We want everyone to feel comfortable advocating for themselves. This may mean having tough conversations with well-meaning family members. Our team can provide resources and help support you by encouraging you to be clear and to openly communicate with your loved ones.
Our conversations with patients and caregivers cover a variety of topics — from management strategies for dietary issues to suggestions on how to talk to a loved one who wants to help but could use a little guidance. No matter what you need, the PanCAN Patient Services team is here to support patients, caregivers and loved ones throughout the pancreatic cancer journey.
